Astrology and Etiquette In the 21st Century

Last week I went out for coffee with a Libra Man. Libra is known for having good manners and it was the first time we’d gotten together. We’re both gym rats who pay attention; and we were trading notes on our impressions of things we see in the gym as well as how we felt about each other…

“And then one day I held the door for you,” he said. “And you went by me and I thought, now that's something. I thought you had “IT”.”

“Really?” I thought backwards as fast as I could. This door opening is a big deal to me. It's significant. I could almost remember this specific day. “Well I like that. I like men to open the door for me. So I'm sure I was glad about it.”

“You must have been. Because you stood there and waited for me to get the next door, too.” He smiled.

“I did? Good. That sounds like me. But I would not have done that if you weren't the way you are. Super manly, I mean. Because do you know this door-opening… well men are no longer expected to open doors for women.”

He looked unconvinced.

“Seriously. I've written about this. Last year. Because this happens all the time at the gym. Men don't get the door. I think men should get the door, but others think differently and it turns out they're right. Because when I wrote about this, several people who teach etiquette showed up to say men opening doors for women is antiquated. It's over. People are supposed to get doors for people,” I said.

He looked unconvinced.

“I know. I don't like it. I teach my son (Libra Moon, Libra rising) to get the door. He's seven and I have him hold the elevator door until all the women are in, or out. And he's does it. He looks good doing it too, but he's like a throwback to some other era.”

“I would always get the door for you. For any woman."

“Well, thank you. And I would always let you. But I better know about this, because if you were a 23-year-old man and I stood waiting for you to get the door, I'd be standing there until I am blue. This is just not what they teach anymore. The professional manners people say otherwise. I don't really like men who don't get doors for women. It just seems wrong to me. It’s almost an affront when a man passes in front of a woman. I think it’s gross but I am just telling you this a day that’s gone by. We’re out of the loop. It's just not what is taught anymore and I have had to come to terms with this. But it sure made me feel good when you did that. You were classy, the way you did that. I have "IT"? I think you have "IT". Because I am telling you the men around here do not hold the door. It almost never happens and that day when you did... you held both doors, I liked it. It helped my day. It was as if something were right in the world."

“Well that's exactly how it felt to me. It sure made an impression on me, I'll tell you that. I have not forgotten it at all. It made me want to know you."

Should men hold doors for women, or should people hold doors for people? Even if you think people should hold doors for people, as a woman, do you like it when a man holds the door for you? And if you’re a man, do you like holding the door? Do you have Libra in your chart? How about Leo (loves chivalry)

Elsa writes an astrology-based advice column and various other sundries at

She has also written a book, "Heaven, I Mean Circle K" which will be published this year.